In my continuing quest for personal refinement I’ve faced some extreme difficulties and learned some great lessons along the way. Some of which I’d like to share with you right now. See, I’ve spent a considerable amount of my time on this planet sitting passive on the sidelines, watching the world and the people around me change. Being a spectator was fine for a while until one day I woke up to the fact that what I was getting out of my life was much less than I knew I was capable of.

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What is the one area in your life that you consistently struggle with? You know the thing that you keep trying improve on, but end up falling back into old habits and patterns. On one shoulder there’s a little devil telling you be selfish and brash, and on the other, the voice of reason that keeps trying to guide you in the healthy and moral direction. Maybe this emerges when you’ve been trying to be a better leader, have more emotional stability, be more productive on the job, or be a better spouse or parent.

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I attended an experiential seminar a few weeks ago called Hearts of the Courageous, which explored decision-making based on fear, anger, and confidence. A friend invited me and I agreed to go along for the experience. I was planning on learning what I could and taking away any wisdom and value that was provided, however, what I got was an entire paradigm shift related to how I process my emotions and feelings.

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We adopt beliefs, thoughts, and expectations from society, our family, friends, and the media, which may or may not be true, and may or may not help us reach our goals. Simply put, out thinking patterns and responses become a habit with which we navigate the world. So, starting to regulate what we think about and making a plan to improve our thinking habits is the first step to changing our life for the better.

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