Editor’s note: This is a guest post written by M.Farouk Radwan, founder of www.2knowmyself.com I have always wondered why some people are determined to reach their goals, and why others are always helpless and victimized. What confuses me even more is that the same person who was once motivated and confident about reaching their goals, can suddenly turn into a helpless and halfhearted person, who doesn’t know what to do, or where to go in order to get what they want. So, to answer this question I kept asking different people and collecting information until I came up with the most important differences between the two states, the state of being motivated to reach your goals and the state of being helpless.
Here is what I found out:
1) Believing that everything is possible
The main reason you find someone motivated is that they believe that everything they desire to achieve is possible. You might think that this is a very optimistic and idealistic way of thinking, but if you watch children playing for few minutes you will discover that this is the natural way of thinking we are all born with. We learn to be helpless and we acquire the belief that reaching our greatest goals is not possible! Believe everything is possible and connect with your natural state of empowerment and motivation.
2) What happens to our beliefs?
Our early experiences with accomplishments and successes lead us to form different beliefs about what we expect from life, and what we believe is possible. If we experience success we will feel confident and capable about achieving our goals, but when people experience consistent failures they may become 100% convinced that there is no way out and that they have no control. This is the time where depression pays them a visit and they feel hopeless about their future. These hopeless beliefs are irrational, and in order to work through them we need to accept that they can be changed. Reconnect with your childhood outlook about life and think that everything is possible despite the obstacles.
3) Helplessness and learning
One major difference I found between those who always get what they want and those who give up trying is the ability to find information and to learn new skills in order to deal with new challenges. No one is born equipped with the knowledge they need to face life problems, and that’s why learning is an essential step in working through difficult situations and achieving goals. Those who are willing to learn and try new things manage to overcome the obstacles and will not fall behind.
4) Incorrect perception
One of the major factors that prevent people from succeeding in life is blind spots and limiting perceptions. Confident people usually understand the real reasons behind their failures and don’t discount their abilities. While those who lack confidence may perceive events in a way where they end up feeling bad and incompetent. For example, after a confident person fails at a project or task he might attribute this to lack of preparation, while a person who lacks confidence might believe the failure is because they are no good.
Some people get persistence wrong. They think that they should keep using the same method that didn’t work, over and over again in order to be called persistent. This is a big mistake. There is a quote that says, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Unless persistence is accompanied with flexibility it will be hard to reach your goals. Successful people know that they should change their method and try something else if what they’re doing isn’t working. Those who aren’t successful on the other hand might keep trying to use the same wrong key to open the right door. In order to be successful you just need to change the key whenever one of them fails to open a door.
I am not trying to be overly optimistic without focusing on realistic facts. I’m also not trying to convince you to think about life the way I do, but I am trying to help you begin to think realistically, with a sense of wonder and amazement just like you used to think when you were a kid. You once believed that everything is possible and you were right, but you collected some limiting beliefs along the way that destroyed this beautiful way of viewing existence. Get rid of these beliefs and you will achieve everything you want in life. This is a guest post written by M.Farouk Radwan, founder of www.2knowmyself.com Photo credit: tibchris