What to do When You Feel Like Giving it All Up

Are you in a situation you just have no idea how you’re going to get out of? Does it look like you have no chance of reaching your goal – at least within a reasonable timeframe? Has everything turned against you leaving you feeling helpless? Believe me, I’ve been there.

If you are struggling right now, I am so happy for you. Forget happy, I’m ecstatic. I’m so grateful that you’re going through this that I’m literally bouncing up and down in my seat right now as I write this. “Is he crazy?” you ask. “I’m struggling more than I ever have before and this son of a b**ch is taking pleasure from it!” Damn right! The reason I’m so happy for you is because I know that you are so close to a massive breakthrough – that is, if you can withstand just a little bit more. And why am I grateful you are going through this? Because I’ve been in that situation. I know exactly how you’re feeling. Right now, things suck and you think it will be this way forever. That’s how I felt too. That’s why I want to share my story with you and give you the practical things you need to start doing or continue doing to get through this. This won’t be a pep talk- I’m all about the action steps and I want to help see you through this because I know exactly how large the benefits are going to be for the rest of your life

First, let me quickly share my story with you. When I was 18 I had a great idea: “I should put myself in a sink-or-swim situation. Burn the boats. That’s the easiest and fastest way to get to where I want to go.” It was possibly the fastest but in no way was it easy. I found myself in Spain a few weeks later. I didn’t know anyone and had no idea how to go about making any friends having been the shy kid all my life. I didn’t speak any Spanish. I had an extremely shaky online business that was in very early days. And to top it all off, I had scarily little money after I paid my first month’s rent. To say that things were tough was an understatement. I had NO idea what I was going to do. There was a constant nervousness in my belly. I was more stressed than I thought I could be. I had trouble sleeping and my appetite disappeared. Many, many times I felt like giving up. I almost did. What kept me going was a “what-if” in the back of my head. What if I go home and don’t make this work? What if I miss out on an experience I’ll never forget? What if, what if, what if. . . It was constantly asking this “what-if” that gave me the strength to carry on and discover the things I’m about to share with you.

I’m happy to say I did get through my trial-by-fire and right now my life is better than it’s ever been. I have a massive social circle, a thriving business and I’m still living overseas with another big trip coming up. I so nearly missed out on getting to this place in my life which is why I’m so passionate to share this information with you today.

Let’s begin. Like I said at the start, I like practical steps I can use. Before we jump into this, let me make one point: This is just a phase! When you are in a tough situation, it is so easy to think that it will be this way for the rest of your life. Several times a day I would think about how much of a mistake I had made. “Who in their right mind would move countries with no money,” I often asked myself. You must aggressively cut out these thoughts the moment they come up. Otherwise you WILL lose the game. Every time you have a pessimistic thought or start to feel hopeless about your situation, I want you to think of something else. Right now, I want you to think of a time where you were struggling or feeling some pain. How long did it last? Whatever your answer, it is irrelevant. The point is that at some point the pain subsided. It stopped and life went on. You came back with brand new lessons you still carry with you. This is what you need to remember. The pain will stop and things WILL get better. But not if you give up and go back to your old life.  

On to the action steps!

1. You’ve got to move your body.

This is nothing revolutionary, I know, but I cannot understand why so many people neglect exercise when the benefits are so incredible. You must engage in some sort of physical activity- lift weights, go for a run, do some yoga and stretch out your tight and stressed body. Hell, walking is fantastic! Everybody can squeeze in a 15 minute walk, no matter what they have going on in their lives. I can hear you already, “Tom, I’m stressed as hell, I’ve no time in my day and no energy to spare. And you want me to exercise.” Exactly! When we are stressed there is a HUGE response in our bodies. The easiest way to remove this stress is to get the blood flowing. Try this: Stand up right now and shake out your body with jerky movements. Jump up and down shaking and moving your arms and legs. Notice how you already have more energy and feel fresher. This is the impact your body has on your mind. Enough said. Go exercise.

2. You’ve got to meditate.

Before you roll your eyes and go down to the next point, read this one sentence. Nothing has made more of an impact on my life than meditation. You can see these same benefits from even 3 minutes a day. No amount of words I can write to convince you to meditate. You have to see the results for yourself. All I ask is that for the next three days you sit down and meditate for just three minutes in each session. That’s it! In the bonus at the bottom of this email, I have attached a guide I wrote just for Joe’s readers giving a step-by-step guide to meditation just so you can’t say you don’t know how  .

3. Unload. Moan, Bitch, cry. After ten minutes, stop

You read it right. I’m fascinated with body psychology- the study of how our thoughts manifest themselves through the muscular system. When you are stressed, angry or upset you will tighten up your neck, jaw, chest and belly because of the link between the mind and body. This creates a viscous cycle where your thoughts are tightening up your muscles, and then because your muscles are tight, it makes you even more stressed which will tighten your musculature system further. You cannot think your way out of stress. You remove it via the body. This is a large part of the reason why you must exercise. You need to release these tensions. If you are feeling angry, scream and be cross at someone who knows that it isn’t personal and that you just need to offload. If you want to cry, cry and sob until you have no tears left- you will feel so good afterwards as you will relax the muscles on the front of your body.. I’ll never forget, one Saturday, I was out for a walk in the park, thinking about how I was going to get out of this, when I broke out in tears. I muffled a few sobs, sat down and then I sobbed like a little girl. This was a busy park but I didn’t care. I needed to let all my trapped emotion out. Afterwards I felt amazing. Like a brand new person ready to face up to things. I went back to my room, sat at my computer and a few hours later had my first big win. The response in your brain chemistry when you release this trapped emotion is something that I would need ten books to fully explain to you. Just realize it is extraordinary and next time emotion is bubbling up inside of you, don’t suppress it- let it out. [Side note: If you’re going to have a whine that’s fine, but ONLY for ten minutes. Unload and then be done with it.]

4. Read books by inspiring people.

When you read books by people who have been through real struggle- Nelson Mandela’s long walk to freedom or Lance Armstrong’s battle with cancer, it gives you a completely new perspective on your own situation. Perhaps your life is in danger and if that’s the case my heart goes out to you. In most cases our problems dwarf in comparison. Reading these stories changed my thinking so dramatically, that things just started to become clear. I just had to work really hard for a few months. Things could have been so much worse. Read these books and it will put your situation into perspective.

Enjoy your new life as a badass.

There’s a reason we choose to go through these challenges. Pain transforms us. It engages our brain in a way that nothing else can. You don’t learn much in the good times. You only develop your character in the bad times. The lessons in patience, hustle, and self-discipline you will have for the rest of your life. The pain you may be in now is temporary. You will get there, but on one condition. You don’t give up. That is the single pre-requisite. NEVER, EVER, EVER give up. You’ll thank yourself for that later.

About the Author:

Today’s article comes from Tom McCann. Tom is an entrepreneur, traveler and writer who blogs at unstoppablegainer.com about how to become unstoppable in all things that you do. Special bonus for You Have a Calling readers from Tom. Because I appreciate you guys reading this so much I’ve put together a special package for you for FREE. Go to this page and I’ll give you immediate access to: – Access to the guide I and countless others have used to transform themselves from good to great to unstoppable. – A beginner’s step-by-step guide to meditation. Once again, thank you for reading. Here is the link for the free gifts.