“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon
There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to “roll with the punches” and “go with the flow.”
Hey some things are our of our control, why not just keep moving forward and learn from the experience, right?
Because sometimes the “punches” hurt pretty damn bad! Sometimes it’s not so easy. Working as a psychotherapist and coach I encounter many people who are at a very low point in life. They feel like things won’t get better and are ready to give-up.
Even when we’re not at our rock-bottom, our first reaction when adversity strikes can be one of dismay, terror, and sheer disbelief. Though, no matter who we are, if we are focused on becoming a stronger and wiser person we make it through. The storm will pass.
I’m sure there was a time when you were doubting whether you would persevere or not. But you’re still here, and can become more resilient than ever. We can develop our mental strength and strengthen our ability to bounce back from life’s struggles.
Here are twenty traits of resilient and unstoppable people. Consider them and determine where you can build your resilience.
1. They have an owner mentality
An owner mentality means taking 100% responsibility for our life. It includes accepting that our response or reaction is just as important as the event itself. Step out of the victim role and take ownership of each and every part of your life.
“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” the 14th Dalai Lama
2. They stay inspired
The major reason I stared this blog is because I’m inspired by personal development. I love hearing positive affirmations and uplifting messages. It allows me to stay encouraged. What inspires you? Where can you find inspiration to help you stay mentally strong?
3. They have come to terms with the past
Everyone has baggage, but some people seem to have heavier baggage than others. Becoming a resilient person requires we come to terms with the emotional turmoil of our past. When we don’t leave the past behind us it can weigh us down.
4. They let go of the need to control
I really believe that the more we try to control things, the more out of control we feel. When things aren’t going the way we would like, our ability to let go of control also lessens the pressure we’re under. It allows us to keep calm and collected, and deal with what we can control.
5. They embrace that change is inevitable
If there is one thing that is constant, it’s change. Some life changes will be more drastic than others. Some change will be intentional and some will be out of our control. Either way, learn to view change as an opportunity. Explore how can you use the change to your benefit.
6. They grow stronger through challenges
We have all been through difficult experiences, some more difficult than others. It is because of these experiences that we are more wise and resilient. We know we can get through tough times because we have done it before. The more practice we have dealing with stress and better we become at it.
7. They look for the lesson
A resilient person finds the value and learning opportunity within challenges. They know that a challenge is something to rise to, and is a pivotal moments for positive growth.
“I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” – Abraham Lincoln
8. They are always learning
A resilient person knows there is a lot they don’t know. (wow say that five times fast!) The more we learn about ourselves, others, and the world around us, the more self-aware and capable we become. We realize what we need to learn in order to get what we want.
9. They are able to adapt
A palm tree is created to be flexible and able to bend under the pressure of high winds. Just like a palm tree bends but doesn’t break, so too does the resilient person. Flexibility in thinking and and willingness to adapt along with changes always us to be resilient.
10. They never lose hope
Hope is what keeps people going when all else is lost. Sometimes all we have left is hope. When everything seems to be falling apart how can you stay hopeful? What is most important to you? Why are you meant to be alive?
“We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
11. They have a clear vision
When we have a powerful vision of our future it keeps us engaged in life. A vision for a greater future keeps us going. It motivates us to never give-up.
12. They keep good company
When life get’s tough or we don’t know what to do, the people around us can be our biggest support and resource. Having a close and supportive group or friends, family, and associates helps us keep a optimistic and positive perspective.
13. They take care of themselves
When life gets busy and overwhelming sometimes we forget to take care of what is most important – yes it’s you. Keep your life balanced and make time, even just a few minutes per day, for your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
14. They make time for stillness and silence
Meditation is rejuvenating and healthy for the mind and body. Meditation boosts the immune system, helps us think more clearly, and creates a buffer against negative emotions. When we meditate we build our mental toughness.
“Mindfulness meditation doesn’t change life. Life remains as fragile and unpredictable as ever. Meditation changes the heart’s capacity to accept life as it is.” – Sylvia Boorstein
15. They know how to say “no”
Resilient people have clear boundaries and don’t unnecessarily take on other peoples’ garbage. Often we have enough of our own problems to deal with. Learn to say no, put your health first, and be clear about your prioritize.
16. They look at the bigger picture
The resilient notice greater possibilities than what is before them. When we believe in something greater and hold onto this inspiring view of the future there is not much that can stop us.
“First they ignore you, then laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi
17. They are grateful for what they have
When we are always focusing on what we lack it gets easy to give-up. Learning to find greater satisfaction with what we have and to live life as it is, helps us stay grateful and mentally strong.
18. They learn to respond instead of react
When we are able to intentionally respond instead of emotionally react, we are likely to make better decisions. Have you ever reacted out of strong emotion? How did things end? When we are highly emotional we aren’t thinking as clearly.
“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” – Nelson Mandela
19. They live from love and compassion
Fear, anger, and anxiety reside in a lower level of consciousness. A resilient person focuses on living from a higher level of consciousness. They cultivate creativity, love, joy, and compassion.
20. They stress less
When it comes down to it, almost all of these traits will help us neutralize stress. When we are overwhelmed with stress, dealing with the little things becomes a big deal. We can’t tackle challenges when we are exhausted and stressed out. Build some of these traits to help manage your stress.